Sunday Evening Respite
Momma Needs a New Pair of Shoes

The Next Chapter

First off, this goes out to the Lovely Miss Katie, who complained that I haven't been writing as much lately (sad, but true).

I had dinner with two friends Monday night. Both are women, but one difference between the two is that one is single and the other is engaged. The engaged friend was sharing with us some of the stress she's finding herself facing -- not with wedding plans, as one might imagine, but with the reality of the cost of having a family in Manhattan. She grew up here, and wants her (at this point still future) kids to have the same sort of lifestyle she had, but of course costs have skyrocketed since we grew up. She is slowly coming to the realization that raising a family in Manhattan,or even in the Westchester suburbs (where I spent my junior high and high school years) is a daunting if not impossible prospect if neither spouse is a doctor or laywer, or works at a hedge fund.

I worry about these things too, although it's certainly not a pressing issue. I'm still more focused on dating someone who's not a jackass, not becoming the kind of person who fades off into coupledom once they find the non-jackass, and dealing with the ever-increasing number of situations where I find that I am the only unmarried, childless person present.

We also had an interesting discussion about “chapters” in one's life. Our engaged friend was describing how she was in the process of moving to a new chapter of her life, and how she has seen the warning signs for a while -- she described how she dressed differently when she was single and stayed out until 2 am much more often than she does now. In some ways I hope that my chapters are not as clearly delineated. I always want to have a mix of people in my life; I don't want to be the kind of person who, because I'm dating someone or someday married, ends up only doing stuff with couples, and I still want to stay out until dawn every now and again, whether with friends or with this hypothetical husband person.

I can think about this stuff forever, but given my current life situation, for me, it's just a matter of keeping a balance that feels right for me now, and adjusting that balance as I move forward.

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