Contestant #1: The Young 'Un
Get out the Vote

Contestant #2: The Goofball

I met our second contestant at a very raucous party.  We danced, joked, took stupid pictures, and, to make a long story short, eventually agreed to go out on a proper date.  I was pretty happy about this, because although he was fun, he seemed like a bit of a goofball, and I was curious to see if there was any depth to him.  Due to M's job, for which he traveled quite a bit, we hadn't nailed down a date when we ended up at the same party the following week.  At the party, we talked about possibly going out later that week.  I mentioned that a mutual friend of ours was having a birthday party that Friday.  He hadn't been invited, but after I asked the birthday girl if I could bring a date to her party, we were all set. 

Although we both knew the birthday girl, he was uncomfortable enough about not having been invited to her party that he waited downstairs for me to arrive, and then we headed upstairs together.  We sat next to each other at dinner, we met some people who clearly thought we were a couple; one woman might have even mistakenly referred to M as my boyfriend, but I don't recall -- don't want to embellish erroneously.  The bottom line is that it was clear from the beginning of the evening that we were there together. 

The evening progressed.  A great deal of sake was consumed by all.  The party progressed from the large common room we had been in for dinner to the birthday girl's apartment (more sake) then on to a nearby bar for even more drinks and dancing.  At some point, I turned around and there was my date, making out with the birthday girl.  I tapped him on the shoulder, "can I have a word with you?"  He pried himself away and we huddled in a quiet hallway.  "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that I was here with you tonight."  "You are, I'm sorry," he slurred. "Are you sure about that?  Because I want to make sure we're both on the same page here."  "Yes, I'm sure." He kissed me.  In my own somewhat tipsy state, oddly this was enough to reassure me.  We wandered back to the dance floor.  A short while later, I went to fetch a drink from the bar.  I turned around, and my "date" and the birthday girl were at it again.  That was enough.  I walked up to them.  "Happy birthday -- you've got my date."  I turned to him, "have a lovely evening."  I walked out and picked up my cell phone, calling Rob, who was out at 'inoteca with some friends.  I sobbed in the cab on the way there, not over my date (in fact, I was quite relieved that I had learned what a jerk he was so quickly), but over the fact that I was starting to feel like if there was a jackass out there, I could pick him out of a crowd.  Rob and his friends consoled me that night, and luckily, I haven't had another candidate surface since then.

So, there you have it!  Pick your favorite jackass, leave me a note in the comments, and I'll post the winner after the New Year.  Have a healthy and happy New Year, everyone!

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