Contestant #2: The Goofball

Contestant #1: The Young 'Un

I met our first contestant through Dodgeball late one night at The Stoned Crow, and within a week we were actually out on a proper date.  Despite our difference in ages (he is 11 years my junior), I actually found N to be smart, funny, interesting, and good company, but because of our difference in ages (among other things), I knew that N was not a contender for anything serious, but we spent a decent amount of time together, and even actually used the word "dating" once or twice.  Alas, N was about to head off to Australia for a month, but he made it clear that he really wanted to see me before he left town.  After some consultation, we agreed to meet up at some point over the course of the evening, as each of us had various birthday parties to attend in different boroughs, but through Dodgeball and text message, we kept each other posted as to our whereabouts.  Finally, we agreed to meet up at the birthday party I was attending at the Cellar.

N walked in with a woman, came up to me, and said, "this is my platonic friend, Alexa."  "Nice to meet you," I replied, and bought us all a round of drinks.  He tapped me on the arm, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"  "Sure."  We went off to a quiet table in the corner.  "Alexa used to be my roommate, and she has always been a platonic friend."  "Okay," I said, not really sure where this was going.  "But I'm getting a vibe that something might happen with her tonight, and she's going to California tomorrow, and," he paused, "you don't like girls at all, do you?"  "Excuse me?"  "Do you like girls?"  "Um, no."  He took this in.  "Oh."  Pause.  "Well, then I think I need to give things a go with her."  I sat there, stunned for a moment, then glared at him.  "Do you realize what a jackass move you are making here?"  He squirmed uneasily.  "Yeah, I guess so."  "Okay then," I said, pushing away from the table, "have fun tonight, have a great trip, and see ya."  "Yeah, okay.  I'm really sorry about this."  "You should be."  I stormed off.

Moral of the story -- I should not be dating people my brother and sister's age, or if I do, I've got to expect immature behavior.  Then again, many guys to whom I've recounted this story have given him props for at least asking about the potential of a threesome (23 year olds are not known for their tact).  Who knows, in a different situation, he might have gotten lucky, but that night with me, all he got was a nomination for Jackass of the Year.

Coming next, the second (and final, unless something really awful happens in the next 24 hours) contestant.

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