I've never understood how women in the movies look so good when they cry.  Sure, their eyes exude sadness, and tears may flow, but they somehow still manage to look pretty, composed, and even delicate.  Not me.  When I cry, it's a full-fledged disaster.  My face gets splotchy and squinched up, my eyes turn beet red, my nose runs -- absolutely hideous.  And once I start, it's very hard to stop.  A good cry can have me going for a while, and I'm completely exhausted once it's over.  The times I've cried at work are probably the worst.  Back in my litigator days, a (very evil) partner made me cry once.  Although I made it safely back to my office before the tears started, lord knows my puffy, red eyes were a dead giveaway to anyone who saw me after the fact.  You should also know that I don't only cry when I'm sad.  Oh no.  That would be way too boring and predictable.  I also cry when I'm angry, or even frustrated, which I've noticed sometimes has the unwanted effect of diluting my side of a particularly impassioned argument.  But unfortunately, I can't really help it. 

If any of those actresses want to see what a real crying jag looks like, they should give me a call.  I"ll show 'em how it's done, and maybe I can even make a few extra bucks on the side.

My favorite crying photo, courtesy of Anna and James Photography.