Safe Blogging

Me vs. Them? I Hope Not.

Having gone through the most recent batch of weddings, I have spent some time thinking about coupledom vs. singledom.  Particularly at the last wedding I attended, I encountered a pack of law school classmates, each accompanied by a spouse, telling me stories of kids, suburbs, etc., even one with a (very cute) baby in tow.  While they all seem quite happy, I literally felt like I was from another planet.  After they'd update me on their lives, they'd turn and ask what was new with me.  "Well," I'd say, "I'm just here living the cosmopolitan single-girl life here in the city.  I've got so much going on, a great group of friends," blah, blah, blah.  All true, mind you, but really, sometimes I don't even know how to relate, and I'm sure they feel the same way about me.  I once had a friend's husband ask me, with all seriousness, "so, is your life like Sex in the City?"  "Um.  Yeah," I replied.  "Just like it.  Except without as much sex.  And my clothes aren't that nice."

This topic seems to be on everyone's mind lately.  Amy Sohn's latest column, entitled "Why Getting Married Kills Your Social Life," addresses how young couples, once they get married, are viewed by their single friends as boring -- they're less likely to go out, they move out to Brooklyn and hibernate, but then they get annoyed that their single friends stop calling.  On the flip side of the coin, one single guy offers up his guide to couplehood, including rules for couples about PDA (basically, to knock it off), and ideas to make single/couple interaction go more smoothly: "The least you can do for your single friends is at least try to set them up with a friend of yours. How can we possibly be happy for you if we’re busy wallowing in our own misery?"  You all know how I feel about that.

Now, I do worry that I'll lose my friends to some extent when they get married, and yes, I've picked up more single friends as other friends have coupled off, but I do have couple-friends that I really just think about as friends -- I don't think twice about calling one or the other to do something individually, and they're not nauseatingly slobbering all over each other when they go out together.  I think there should be much more of that, and if/when I'm ever in a serious relationship again, I hope I behave that way.    I am also not one to "lose" friends that easily.  I have no qualms about calling people up or emailing out of the blue to try and get together.  I'm somewhat tenacious in that regard, so even if you couple-y folks try to slip away, odds are I won't let you off the hook that easily.

Help bridge the gap between the "me's" and the "we's" -- any tips?

comments powered by Disqus