So it's Saturday, I let myself sleep ridiculously late in preparation for what may be late night at the bday bash, and I'm puttering around the apartment, listening to Jonathan Schwartz on WNYC. I just heard two of the most depressing Sondheim songs: Sorry, Grateful, from Company, which attempts to describe the characters' feeling about his marriage, and Saturday Night from Saturday Night about how if you're alone on a Saturday night when you're single, "you might as well be dead." Jeez.
This brings me back to a conversation I had yesterday with some married and formerly married female work colleagues, most of whom are somewhat older than I am -- they were basically saying that husbands were great to have around for reproduction purposes, but then they essentially wore out their welcome. I sat there with a panicked grin on my face, then finally turned and said, "so I should pretty much stick with single life, huh?." "No," one replied, "not if you want a family." Yes, I do want a family, but I don't want to be unhappily married. Look -- I figure I'm increasing my odds of a good, healthy marriage the later it happens. Even if I met the perfect guy for me tomorrow (or tonight at the birthday party, perhaps), we'd have to have a relationship for a while, so by the time we actually get married, I'll be solidly in my mid-to-late thirties. I would like to hope that would help to prevent the "bitter married" attitute.
And I generally really enjoy being single (well, except when I'm sick), but I don't want to lose hope that I'll end up in a meaningful, healthy relationship that will ultimately turn into a healthy, long-lasting marriage and a family.
Some of you married folks out there, gimme some hope, will ya? And single folks -- we don't have it bad at all, right?