A few years ago, my friend Geek lived in Philly. I visited him one weekend, and, knowing me well, he made sure that we went out for authentic Philly cheesesteaks. He also took the time to prep me on the proper way to order. First of all, a Philly cheesesteak comes with Cheez-Whiz unless you ask for something else. The only other options are American and Provolone. John Kerry embarrassed himself by asking for Swiss Cheese on his cheesesteak during a campaign stop in Philadelphia. The only other choice that you need to make is "with" or "without." Translated, this means with or without fried onions. Now, I can't remember if we went to Pat's or Geno's on our trip, but I do remember having a great cheesesteak.

I'm returning to the city of brotherly love this weekend, so please let me know if there's anything I absolutely must eat, do, or see while I'm down there. You can spot me there -- I'll be the one eating the provolone with, steak juice dripping down my arms. Not quite lobster, but it'll do. Mmmm . . .