So when is it appropriate to tell someone you're dating or planning to go out with about your blog (or in my case, blogs)? My gut reaction is -- look, this is part of who I am, it comes with the territory, so get used to it. And certainly, this blog and Gothamist Food are hardly places where I air my dirty laundry, tell my tales of dating woe, or bare my deepest, darkest thoughts, so I can't imagine that anyone would really have a problem with it.
But I had a recent experience trying to schedule a date with someone I had met on JDate (yes, I've had a relapse. I don't want to discuss it). I sent him an email from this old hotmail account which I used to use for online dating and blog-related stuff before I got my sweetblogomine.com domain. Instead of my first and last name being displayed, I am identified as "Laren at Sweet Blog o' Mine." He responded to one of my emails and replaced whatever the subject line had been previously with "Sweet Blog o' Mine." Busted. I did what anyone in my situation might do -- completely ignore what he had done and continue with our ridiculous scheduling negotiations (I'm starting to think that scheduling is one of the primary obstacles to dating in this city -- at least dating anyone interesting). We're set to go out next week, but I'd imagine that he might peek over here before then.
When I think about the guys I've gone out with over the past year, it's kind of a mixed bag -- I know that some of them read my blog. Some while we were dating, and one blind date even read up on me before our date so he could get the inside scoop. I've never dated a blogger, so I don't really know what that's like, but I'd imagine it must be sort of weird reading up on someone's life, but it might actually provide some degree of insight.
What about you? Do you tell or not? When? Why? I don't think Ms. Manners has an official rule on this one, so I turn to you for the answer.
I just go under the assumption that everyone google-stalks religiously, and failing to do so can lead you into great trouble.
See also: Joey deVilla's How My Blog Saved My Life
Posted by: Dan Dickinson | February 12, 2005 at 12:05 PM
Oh. My. God. That is a fantastic, yet terrifying story. I was saved once, not through my blog, though: I had a friend of a friend save me from my very first online date -- turned out he had worked with the guy at Bloomberg where he had gotten fired for stalking someone (while he was married). Needless to say, I cancelled the date.
Posted by: Laren | February 12, 2005 at 12:19 PM
I don't know. In general I don't hide it from people (except for some people I work with), but sometimes I think you might be better off to keep it on the DL. A lot of people don't know very much about blogging and if you tell them you have a blog they automatically assume you're writing about ex-boyfriends and your breakfast cereal and other things like that. You might be better off having them get to know you first and then introducing the blog thing. Then again, if they're going to hold your blog against you perhaps you should get rid of them anyway.
Posted by: Ellen | February 12, 2005 at 12:21 PM
I work on two premises: Dan's about google-stalking is one, and the other is to blog keeping in mind that my parents read me. So, there's nothing there that I would mind if a potential partner read it.
Posted by: Nia | February 12, 2005 at 02:02 PM
Nia -- I hear ya. I tend to follow similar guidelines.
Posted by: Laren | February 12, 2005 at 04:32 PM
Pish ... that's nothing. I'd rather have a woman find me writing a blog than have her be able to track me through the ones I'm mentioned in. ;-)
Posted by: Matt Caldecutt | February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM